My perinatal journey
My purpose has crystallized: I’m called to champion women through their perinatal phases. Life’s handed me a spectrum of experiences—delayed partnering, fertility battles, the grief of pregnancy loss, empowered pregnancies, diverse birthing settings (birthing center, hospital, and home), and grappling with postpartum depression and anxiety. I’m here to openly share the peaks and valleys of my journey, which began with my enrollment in yoga therapy education via PRYT.
During the intensive 1000-hour yoga therapy course, I discovered my pregnancy. I compressed much of the coursework into my pregnancy period, anticipating time constraints later on. Conception arrived after a year and a half of yearning, but sadly, it culminated in a heart-wrenching stillbirth. Yet, amid the grief, the yoga therapy education became my sanctuary, guiding me to accept and process the loss with a grace that surprised me. I stood proud of the empowered decisions made during that pregnancy, refusing to blame myself or my caregivers for the outcome.
A subsequent pregnancy granted me the opportunity to birth my second son naturally in a hospital, supported by a renowned compassionate doctor. However, interventions—such as the doctor’s unnecessary actions post-birth and comments —left me emotionally violated. Postpartum, I spiraled into depletion and prolonged depression, a result of feeling emotionally compromised. Yet, with consistent yoga therapy and daily mindfulness practices, I eventually emerged from the darkness.
Following these experiences, subsequent pregnancies brought their own challenges, including a miscarriage and concerns about medical care.
Determined to optimize my life, I silently dreamed of a home birth and a lotus birth for my child, despite my husband’s trauma lingering from our first son’s loss. Integrating newfound knowledge, I sought a certified nurse midwife, initially intending postpartum care only. However, fate had a different plan.
Tensions brewed with my doctor’s office, especially when they failed to communicate important medical details and dismissed my concerns about the baby’s position. Every incident pushed me closer to the idea of a home birth.
On my 40th birthday and due date, frequent contractions hinted at labor. The plan was in motion: if baby came too soon, it would be a home birth; if my blood pressure increased, it meant a hospital trip with my midwife as my doula. Contractions started irregularly but progressed rapidly after my midwife confirmed my dilation. Within two hours, my baby was in my arms.
The birth became a healing journey, not just for me but for my husband, who found closure from his trauma. Even my mother, present during the birth, seemed to find healing from her own past experiences. It was a full-circle moment, offering closure and profound healing for all involved. My journey from trauma to healing has been arduous but has ultimately made me stronger and more resilient.
On this gallery, its my first son, Krishna on the left; my second son, Vibhu, in the middle and my daughter, Vasudha on the right.
